Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
