oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
