i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
