I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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