That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
