This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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