scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
