as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
