no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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