She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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