I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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