don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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