The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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