his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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