The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
