Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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