She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
