.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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