is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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