I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
