When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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