Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
