This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
