I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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