Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
