Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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