I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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