Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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(805): View more from California

I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed

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(519): View more from Ontario

I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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(585): View more from New York

Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window

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(573): View more from Missouri

and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.

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(813): View more from Florida

It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.

(407): View more from Florida

That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!

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