i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
