The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
