Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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