no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
