I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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