Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
