Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
