I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
