think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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