I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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