the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
