That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
