Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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