I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's blow job season.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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