hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened