The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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