This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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