we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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