She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
