I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
