i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
