you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
