I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
