I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
