i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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