dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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