I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
