I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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