And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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