which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
