and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
