Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't deserve a penis
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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