You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
