well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
