He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
