My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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