end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
