Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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