If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
